Saturday, May 28, 2016

Blessed With a Burden

Teaching is an All-Time Job (or, Why Teaching is Beautiful and Amazing, but a Sacrifice)
I have a vivid memory of sitting in one of my teacher college courses. The lights are dim, my professor is lecturing on the “burn-out” factor.
“Look around you,” she says. “Statistics show that in 3 years, 2 out of every 3 of you will no longer be teaching.”
In my memory, I remember my 4.13 GPA, my competitive attitude, my stubbornness. Not me, I thought.
As I finished my third year of teaching and signed my contract for the upcoming year, I celebrated. I made it through the first three years and still had a fire growing inside of me that kept my passion for teaching warm. The statistics were in my favor. I was the 1 in 3. And certainly, it seemed so. Through Facebook I saw several of my graduating peers leave the profession, for what they deemed to be better and brighter careers.
Not me, my mantra seemed to become. Not me.
And then my fourth year of teaching hit me like a freight train. I am exhausted. I am angry. I am burnt out.

Now, don’t get me wrong here. Every year of teaching has had its obstacles. My first year of teaching I came home every night and drank. And then I cried. I cried because the job was hard. I cried because my students were going through things that they should never have to go through. I cried because some of my kids were mean to me. I cried because sometimes my lessons tanked and I thought I was wasting my students’ time. I cried because I worked so hard and so many students didn’t care. I cried because I had no way of knowing if I was even doing a good job. It’s frustrating to go from being a straight A student who can easily track their progress to being a teacher whose only feedback comes from students. When my students sleep, when they check out, when they don’t pay attention, all I can think is that I have failed at my job. That if I was better at what I did, they would pay attention to what I wanted them to do, and what I had to say.

The second and third year were easier. Still hard, certainly. But I accepted certain things and tried to better myself. The things I cried about continued to sting, but I no longer had mental breakdowns every day while drinking. I played the game and gave up my serving job so I could dedicate more time to teaching, and I persevered.

This year has felt much different. My fourth year has given me a taste of teaching bureaucracy I don’t have the patience for. Has reminded me that most friends I have who never obtained a bachelor’s degree make a considerable amount more than I do. That I spend up to 10 hours a day working, sometimes 60 hour weeks, and am never rewarded for it by my bosses or superiors.

Certain pieces of information have worked their way into my mind, like realizing that in 2016, I make what is considered a “lower class” income.
I’m college fucking educated. I can’t even hit a middle class salary?

This profession is not sustainable. It’s not financially viable. And it breaks my heart because I absolutely love it. I love teaching. I love my students. But part of me has to believe that I am cut out for more.

It isn’t fair that going into my fifth year of my college-educated career that I still have to have a roommate because I can’t afford my mortgage without one. It isn’t fair that I can’t even take myself shopping for new teaching clothes because my bills deplete everything I make in a month. And it isn’t fair that I seem to be the ONLY person who is pissed off about this.

I am more than pissed off. I am seeing red. When I think about the inequality in teaching, it makes me want to scream until my voice is gone. And I feel inappropriate for having that in my heart. Because everybody else seems to be so accepting of a lower class life.

Treating our teachers like lower class citizens is repugnant, but more than that, it is a huge disservice to America’s youth. I understand now, why good teachers become bad teachers. They get paid the same, so why work a 60 hour week when you can work 40 and get the same pay? I’m not rewarded for my innovation, and in fact I’m punished for it if someone walks in and what I’m trying isn’t working. So why try?

On top of this, most of the time teaching takes everything out of me. I have no energy left to work out, to try new things, to motivate myself to do anything. This year I’ve started to ask what about me? I give everything I am into my career. There has to be more to me than just that facet. And my career is robbing me not only of financial security, but also of the ability to explore who I am as a human being.

It seems to be a great teacher, I have to sacrifice every other part of who I am. Because teaching is never done. There are always more lessons to perfect, always more papers to grade, always more ways to try to get students interested in what I have to offer them, always more parents I could be contacting and more professional development I could be attending. I am a workaholic and a perfectionist and because of this, every other component falls to the wayside so I can try to be the best teacher I can be.

And now I have gotten to the point where I am terrified, that I will die one day, and still never even know who I am. That I will leave this life knowing who I was as a teacher, but never who I was as a human being.

My new mantra this year seems to have become who am I? Who am I? Who am I? And the truly beautiful and horrifying thing is that without teaching, I really don’t think I have an answer.

I am treading in a sea of uncertainty. And no one seems to see that I am slipping

slowly


under the surface.

Monday, December 7, 2015

Slater

The truths she believed in
could be counted on one hand
But that he loved her
She could feel in her heart
In her bones.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

1927

To be consumed by a fire
that is self-ignited
white-hot and destructive
engulfed in flames so bright
I could not see
I was the one holding the match

 I was the girl on fire
but not in the way that leads
to revolution
set on a path that had
one destination

Charred and damaged
I finally realized the extent
of my self-demolition
and walked out of the embers
a phoenix reborn
but this is no wizard's tale

This is just the story of a girl
who finally learned
that it does not bode well
to play so close to flames
that do nothing but destroy.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

I Am Mallory's Highly Flammable Heart

Tyler Durden says
equal parts frozen orange juice concentrate
and gasoline
mixed together creates napalm.

This is a chemical reaction
just like mixing equal parts dopamine
and endorphins creates love.

Science was not the one to do me wrong
I am simply not what I once was
Love is a high
and now I am highly explosive
because every time he
lied
   cheated
        manipulated
              every time he broke my spirit
he stirred in more gasoline
creating a solution that cannot be unmixed-

                                          and he won't even say he's sorry.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Evers

The irony of the love poem I made for you painting you as a magician does not escape me. 
You gave me empty promises and fed me lies until I was sick with your deceit. 
If you ever stumble across this blog again, please know that from the depths of my heart I think you are a miserable piece of shit. 
I will never speak to you again. Not to argue over the girls you fucked while promising you would never hurt me that way, not to tell you I stopped loving you because I don't even know who you are. 
You have never cared for me or loved me. You are a selfish, hurtful, awful person. 
And if you gave me anything, because you put my health at risk every time you stuck your dick into someone else,

I will make you fucking regret til the day you die the moment you betrayed me. 

Now that's a promise. And I know how to keep my promises motherfucker. 

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Candles

Today really should just be another day. It's been your birthday in my mind hundreds of times already, I'm not really sure why the real one should be any different than the hundred or so I've already thought out in my mind.

You've already lost the name to this blog, just another sign on top of all the others that you checked out of loving me months (has it been a whole year?) ago. No one will know, but once again I've beaten everyone to the punch by wishing you happy birthday first.

But let's be clear about who I'm wishing a happy birthday to.

I am not wishing a happy birthday to the person who became so greedy and selfish that he gobbled up everything I had to give and then spit out the remnants of my heart when he got bored of chewing on them. To the person who lied to me to go on a four day hiking trip with a girl he had a crush on (I'm not fucking stupid, was it more?). Who hid our Facebook relationship status. Who broke up with me in September. Who left me in the middle of the night. Who called me a fucking bitch. Who tricked me.Who told my mother who bought him Christmas and birthday gifts for four years to shut the fuck up. The person who told ME to shut the fuck up several times. The person who said proudly that he had looked through my phone even though I was never the person that shit on our trust.The person who broke gifts I had gotten for him just to hurt me. Who invaded my space and my privacy. Who violated me. Who won't even end our relationship on Facebook. Who disrespected me so severely and didn't even have the fucking common courtesy to return the books I love that I let you borrow. Who felt it necessary to apologize to my fucking roommate but not to me.

I'm not wishing a happy birthday to the person who broke every fucking promise he ever made me. 

Like those promises were disposable. Like they meant nothing. This post isn't for that kid. Because honestly? Fuck that guy.

This is a happy birthday to the man who loved me fiercely for three years. Who got me gifts that not only showed me that he loved me, but that he understood me. To the person who introduced me to his amazing family and had me fall in love with them too. The person who rocked my mind and world in every way possible. Who made me laugh. Who loved posting photos of me. To the man who was proud of having me as his girlfriend. Who texted me silly things throughout the day to show me he loved me. Who came home to me every night and cooked me dinner. Watched movies and TV with me. Made every holiday and birthday amazingly special. Who was patient with me with CrossFit. The man who cleaned out the garage so I had a place to park. Who held me when I cried and when I just needed his arms around me. Who knew every inch of my body and loved it.

Happy birthday. I miss you (not first guy I wrote about. That guy stomped my heart apart. There's nothing where my heart should be at the moment). I hope the you I know you to be is still in there somewhere. I hope South America and Mexico give you the answers you are searching for. I hope you find inner peace and happiness. I hope you discover what you want in this life and then go out and get it. I hope you don't let anything stop you. I hope you learn to realize that you are worthy of having aspirations and dreams. That you also deserve to be happy. I hope you let go of your anger. Please do not make all of this pain be in vain. Learn from it. Move through it. Losing you is part my fault and I know that. My inability to call people out on their shit enabled you to do shitty things to me. I will never be that person again. I won't let losing you be in vain. I wish I could have been stronger, different. I will be next time. It's a very hard lesson learned. I hope your dreams and your wishes come true. Even though I am no longer a part of them, I wish that for you.

I am so hurt. And I am so angry. There are no words to express the grief that I feel. Most of the time it is rage that sweeps through me, which sometimes reaches a crescendo that makes me want to rip myself apart to find the source of that anger and pain...but tonight needed to be different, because I'm sure your birthday will be hard on both of us for different reasons. Tonight I really just needed to sit with my inner feelings. The ones that are unaffected by the anger and disappointment and absolute betrayal. The parts of me that just care for you, and are able to do so because I love you so god damn much. Real love. Love that does not seek to destroy, or hurt, or inflict pain. My love for you has always wanted to comfort, support, and understand. And for your birthday, I just really hope you find what it is you've been missing this last year. I hope you find what you've been searching for.

Goodbye Cera. Go out and seek your great perhaps. Happy birthday.
With love,
Stone







Friday, April 17, 2015

The Illusionist Part 2

As a result of all his illusions,
he had actually made himself disappear.

He did not think to mention it to the girl
for she was insignificant in his final act.

She whispered the word abracadabra
as the anger and heartache

caused her to vanish inside of herself.