Raul

I stifled a yawn as I walked towards the bed. Though foreign, it let me sleep better than any mattress at home ever did. I crawled under the blankets and flipped off the light. As I started to drift to sleep, I thought I heard the voices of the other girls in the room next to me, but I was too tired to join. I quickly drifted to sleep.
I was soon awoken by the sound of screams. Blood curdling, murderous screams. I flung the blankets off of me and rushed next door, frantic at what I would find.

I ran through the door just in time to see something that looked like a black ping pong ball fall from the ceiling onto the floor. And land with a stomach lurching "thunk". Enter Raul; the biggest fucking bug I've ever seen. A creepy, awful loud ass motherfucking beetle from HELL. Befuddled and angry as fuck to have left his fiery dimension of doom, he surely would have taken us all on had he not foolishly landed on his back, thus dazing him. My roommate Maci ran to him and without knowing what else to do, started to spray Raul with bug spray. She continued to spray about half the can onto our nemesis. In our panic we had forgotten that bug spray repels bugs, it doesn't kill them.

I looked as the mist hit Raul, and I swear to god, I think he liked it. Stoned now, he casually flicked his pincers, no, talons, in the air, and if I didn't know any better, I'd bet my money that he winked at us. "Come get me," he taunts us. "I fucking dare you."

Maci continues to battle against him, and manages to scoop him up with a cup and get him into a plastic bag. Raul is still not dead, mind you. Maci flung him into the plants, and I'm sure if our ears could pick up such decibels, we'd still hear Raul chuckling as he came down from his bug spray high. I'm sure whenever he sobers up enough he will mosey back to whatever sector of hell he came from.